“A good father is one of the most unsung, unpraised, unnoticed, and yet one of the most valuable assets in our society.” Billy Graham

We all need a good father in our life. This past Sunday was Father’s Day – a celebration for the men who are the backbone of the family unit. I reflect on all the fathers I am blessed to know in the past and the future fathers my sons will become. Having a good, holy, father figure sets the stage for a successful life. Fathers teach love, hard work, discipline, and forgiveness. Dennis and I were fortunate to come from strong Catholic families, with fathers who were an important part of everyday life. Dennis has been a wonderful father and now grandfather to our children and grandchildren. “Everybody loves Baba,” I like to say, simply because he has a kind, friendly personality that makes people feel comfortable and special.

All families should be modeled after the Holy Family of St. Joseph, the Blessed Mother, and Jesus. My daughters too have been blessed with wonderful husbands who love and care for their families, men continuing to build strong families for future generations. Craig and Michael are excellent role models for everyone they encounter; and they demonstrate to my yet unmarried sons how to be a St. Joseph in their families. Michael, especially, can relate to St. Joseph as he is my oldest grandson’s stepfather, a role he has embraced. He cares for Blaise as his own. The story of how Michael became part of our family continues next:

Five years ago, a few days after father’s day, my beloved son-in-law, Timothy, passed away from colon cancer at the age of 29. Tears well up in my eyes as I try to write these memories. The feeling as if my heart were an empty, bottomless, hopeless pit of despair has passed, occasional sadness and acceptance of God’s will has taken its place. However, Tim is very much a continual part of my life; I talk and pray to him all the time, and I see him every day in the face of his son. I still cannot fathom why God took him at such a young age, but I trust in God’s infinite wisdom, and believe in His plan. Tim left behind his wife, Lisa, and a 9 month old son Blaise. Plus his father, step-mother, mother, brother, two grandfathers and a grandmother. Crazy. He had great genes. Everyone in his family lives to a nice old age. But cancer doesn’t play by the rules.

It was early January 2011. Tim and Lisa were playing in our church adult volleyball league. The first game of the season started, and Tim played great. He’s not a tall man, but he was hitting the ball with a lot of style and force. It was a lot of fun.

During the night Tim started vomiting. It wouldn’t stop. After a few days he went to the doctor. Then after a few more days with no relief he was sent for tests. I thought he would need an appendectomy. He was admitted to the hospital, as more tests were run. Crohn’s disease was the buzzword, even after he was scoped. However the day after the scope, the biopsy came back showing cancer. So instead of coming home that day as he had thought, surgery was done. When the doctors do everything quickly, you know it’s bad news.

Timmy had colon cancer. It originated in the area of his appendix. The doctors took out 20 inches or so of his colon. My husband and I were with Lisa during surgery. We prayed and tried to be calm. When the surgeon said, “It is a lot worse than what I suspected.” My heart dropped. Lisa said she didn’t hear anything else the doctor said that day.

My family has been through this in the past. The cancer monster took my eight-year-old niece in 1983 after a 6-month battle. In 1990 it took my mom – 12 days after she was officially diagnosed with a type of stomach cancer. In 2003, my 52-year-old brother in law succumbed to bladder cancer after a five-year fight. Cancer is the black plague of our generation.

Tim survived for 5 ½ months. I kept a journal because I knew I would forget many details. I want to write many articles about his cancer fight, but I am still brought to tears by his memory and courage. So it is a difficult task.

I will never forget Tim, I loved him like a son. He was the perfect match for my daughter. He wanted nothing more than to be a good husband and father. He lives on forever in our hearts and minds and in his son, who immensely resembles his father. I knew Timmy wouldn’t want Lisa and Blaise to be alone; I knew he would send a good, Godly man to take his place.

And he did.

On March 15, 2014 Lisa and Michael were married. It was my mother’s 88th birthday. She and Timmy were dancing in heaven. (With my Dad too.)

Happy Father’s Day guys!